The name of the blog combines my most frequent state, being a bit of a mess, with something I love a lot: maps.
We have a room in our house that is still decorated with sports-ball trim from the children who lived in it before we moved in, and I have covered the walls in maps of the places I’ve been rather than actually painting or wallpapering the space. It’s not a permanent solution (whatever, we might someday have a little kid who could grow into loving a room with sports balls on the walls!), but maps everywhere makes me feel like there is SO MUCH POSSIBILITY in the world. It’s one of the most sane-making feelings for me, perhaps because when I’m stuck in one of my own small problems, it reminds me “there’s a whole world out there, where people are doing amazing and interesting things.” It gives me comfort that I am not alone.
I love the intricacy of maps, and how I can find my way to anywhere I want just by knowing the address and using the indices. It’s a tool, but also so artistic: when I teach English, I hope I can provide that same balance of art and functionality.
I have sometimes created maps just to figure out where I want to be in life, or how my friends are connected to each other, or how topics I need to cover in an essay are ordered. Maps give me a way to understand the world. I mean mapping out in both the physical, geographical sense and also in the mental sense: my to-do lists, my planning, my future thoughts, all are forms of mapping, trying to set in ink what’s just out of my sight.
Not everyone needs these things to get through their days, but with my combination of daydreaming about the future and being pretty messy in the present, it’s an essential part of who I am, always mapping out what’s next.