Messy Wife Life: The Ups and Downs of Being a Complainer

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Sometimes I think us blogger-types are people who like to complain. English majors, also, teach us to note the weaknesses, flaws, and shortcomings of the things we read, so it makes sense that a lot of how I filter the world is through what it could be. I try to be encouraging of my friends and family, and am invariably optimistic about their chances of achieving their dreams.

Having Husband around has woken me up to how much negativity I introduce into the average day. I try to be positive about Husband: his looks, his abilities, his achievements, and his goals. However, I now have to see the pain on his face whenever I mention how unlikely I am to achieve something, how bad I look, or how disappointed I am with my own productivity. Invariably, he will encourage me, offer a solution to a problem, or just listen well, but I tend to spiral if I start complaining, eventually crying and thinking that everything is awful.

I’m trying an experiment lately, where I try to note every time I say something positive and hopeful about the world and every time I am critical (not in a “turn left, not right” kind of way, but in a way that doesn’t help anyone involved). I’m finding that just the act of trying to notice my complaints is helping me do it a little less. I know there are a lot of times when people appreciate being able to vent, and I don’t think all complaining is bad, but I’m in a time in my life when it seems like complaining itself makes me unhappy, whereas trying to have a positive outlook can reverse the cycle and put me on a path to a happier day.

I might update you all on the complaining department; I don’t think I’ll ever be the kind of sunny person that so many of my friends think I am, but I think I can manage to not always see the worst in myself, and instead try to see hope in my world.

8 Comments, RSS

  1. missiskarlsson September 14, 2017 @ 5:09 pm

    I’ll show it my husband, he likes to complain 😉

  2. purpleslobinrecovery September 17, 2017 @ 10:57 am

    Hi Laura, I can definitely relate! Seems like all I’ve been doing lately is complaining!!
    I’m gonna work on it too.
    Thanks for the follow!
    Melinda

  3. msw blog September 18, 2017 @ 11:11 pm

    I think the key is to balance the rants with the raves I think you and your readers may enjoy these post
    https://reallifeofanmsw.com/2016/08/23/real-life-rants
    https://reallifeofanmsw.com/2017/06/07/dont-worry

  4. tah September 20, 2017 @ 6:25 pm

    Love the last paragraph. It sounded exactly like me.

  5. linda kelley September 20, 2017 @ 6:37 pm

    Love your post. Always pick your battles.

  6. Soul Gifts September 26, 2017 @ 1:47 am

    I tend to swing to the other pole- optimist. Having lived for a very long time with my Husband, who is not one of those, I try and counter-balance the load a bot. Besides which, I just find it far too draining on my energy ! Thank you so much for the follow- appreciate it 🙂

  7. cathysrealcountrygardencom September 28, 2017 @ 8:15 pm

    Complaining is not always bad, sometimes it is needed, but not always (especially around husbands!)

  8. belshade October 6, 2017 @ 1:10 am

    Thank you for following my blog. I hope you will gain some pleasure from the mix of photography and – occasionally- of history, ancient and modern. Des.

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